At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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