you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
