im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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