I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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