his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
