Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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