Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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