no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
