At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
