sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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