somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The power of my boobs compel you
The convent might be a nice break from real life
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
