i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
