how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize