So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
