you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
