C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
