one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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