Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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