Porn is love you can see.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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