and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
