Can Purell be used as lube?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
