Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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