it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
