i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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