My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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