he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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