i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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