WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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