dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
