I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
