After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
