what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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