There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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