Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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