and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
i've created a new STD.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Randomize
