You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize