We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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