Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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