Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
