when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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