I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Blood and glitter go together right?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
