Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
