My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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