like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
