I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I will be naked everywhere
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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