She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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