I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize