she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
