The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
