Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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