so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
