Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
