home. puking in laundry basket.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
