the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
