I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Randomize
