in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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