Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
