my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
