my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
